Sunday, March 20, 2011

On Again, Off Again

I've got my skype on and one of my friends keeps coming online and then offline due to her connection and there is a box that shows up on my screen each time.

On Again, Off Again.

It reminds me of my life with God right now. Lent is only 2 weeks in and I've not read my devotions each morning.

On Again, Off Again.

Wait, let me run to the kitchen table and read my devotion. From two days ago.

On Again, Off Again.

Someone on the radio (I switch from country, to classic country, to classic rock to Christian, to public) was talking about how we have this wondeful gift in having God's word with us and we aren't even opening the book. I also just finished reading Brother Andrew's God's Smuggler.

On Again, Off Again.

Eating healthy.

On Again, Off Again.

Reading a good book instead of watching Big Bang Theory for the umpeenth time.

On Again, Off Again.

Talking bad about my job, my boss, my co-workers only to do nothing about it, even when I shouldn't have been talking smack in the first place, knowing it's out of God's desire.

On Again, Off Again.

Wondering if I am spending more time being OFF AGAIN than ON AGAIN.

Sigh.

4 comments:

  1. This is reflective, poignant and hits the nail on the head, Amy. I used to worry so much about the on again off again nature of my relationship with Christ. I think I may have reached a point where I no longer worry and accept is as the norm.

    I'm not sure if that's ok.

    I understand that worrying is not good, and somehow I find myself worrying more than doing. It's easier somehow. I feel like I spend a lot of time thinking "I need to get back on track" with many things in my life. But I've got a routine... how can I break that? It feels so difficult.

    So far this Lenten season has not helped me reorganize the priorities in my life. I hoped for that, but it hasn't happened.

    but then I have to ask: is this what Lent is for? For me to find priorities? I'm struggling to find the reason in it right now.

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  2. Excellent point, Steph. I thought my trip to Asia would help me reprioritize. Then I thought Lent would help reprioritize. I think I just need to literally, forget this figuratively stuff, drop to my knees and take on the pain of reprioritizing.

    sigh.

    I feel another post coming on :)

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  3. I feel much the same way! Thanks for being so open and honest Amy

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  4. I think it is or human nature - but like Stephanie says - are we right to just accept that as truth? Thanks for making me look at the apathy in me.

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