Prayer for Lent from the Book of Common Prayer

O God, your glory is always to have mercy.
Be gracious to all who hve gone astray from your ways,
and bring them wih penitent hearts and steadfast faith
to embrace and hold fast the unchangeable truth of your Word,
Jesus Christ your Son,
who with you and the Holy Spirit lives and reighns,
one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

A strange lenten discipline

I decided to do something a little different for Lent this year. I am shaving every day for Lent.

This idea came into my head in the middle of leading the Ash Wednesday service at United Churches. The gospel text for Ash Wednesday was the "do not be like the hypocrites" passages from Matthew 6. As I was preparing this in the light of Lent, the idea that is important to be vulnerable to God and others kept running through my mind.

There are several reasons why I have facial hair most of time. My wife thinks I look sexier with facial hair, and her opinion in this regard is important to me. I don't like to shave. I have a very limited amount of body hair in the first place, and the end of my chin is the only place where it seems to grow well. I have always dreamed of having a full beard, or even a respectable mustache, or a full goatee, but I have consistently failed in this regard.

First and foremost; however, I grow facial hair at the bottom of my chin because of vanity. I have a round face. When I do not shave, the hair at the bottom of my face breaks up the chubbiness of my face. When I do shave, as I have chosen to do for Lent, my face looks rounder, and a double chin becomes more prominent.

I chose to shave for Lent in order to be more vulnerable and less vain. I find both concepts difficult to put into practice, and yet important. I see shaving for Lent a good step in the right direction.

As for the rest of my Lenten discipline...since it does not show itself on my face, I am not going to share it. Something about those Matthew 6 passages tell me secrecy is the better route in that regard.

Countdown to Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday is just one week away. Anyone counting down to the beginning of Lent? Or maybe just counting down until Mardi Gras?

Once again, our church is shying away from "services". Maybe it's just the word "services" that spooks them. At any rate, my hubby and I talk to our youth about Lent. I think the kiddos know more about Lent (and Lenten "services") than the adults of our church!

Hmm, that sounds like a challenge...

Pondering's of People we Love

Mark and I made several car trips to Seattle this week that were, of course, during rush hour.  Strange conversations can come while you are sitting in traffic...

Pondering a situation with people we know and love dearly, we debated about if/how we could help. It is one of the truly difficult parts of being in relationships. On the one hand, we truly want to love and accept these people where they are, as they are, with no judgement or strings attached... On the other hand, we can see how easy it is to settle into old thought patterns or choices and not do the hard work they have told us they want to be about. Hmmmm. Risk saying something?  Watch as old self-destructive patterns play out?

Tough stuff really, isn't it? I think this may be one of the toughest conversations we have about community life.  When you choose to be involved in a community, you choose, sometimes by default, to have other people "in your business" so to speak.  And most everyone I know is carrying the scars of a relationship gone bad.  Jesus communities are famous for this.  Someone saying something they shouldn't have.  Judgement called down.  Painful wounds inflicted.  Scars carried forever.  Someone leaves, sometimes forever.

So we shy away from saying anything.  But is that the Jesus way?  I really don't know.  On the one hand, I believe God is big enough to do whatever work is necessary.  On the other hand, my life has been truly blessed (and transformation enhanced) by people I love, who took that very risk and spoke with love the hard stuff to me.  I can still name the people and the situations. They called me accountable to who I said I wanted to be, and held a mirror up to me.  I loved them, and while I was angry for a while, I knew they were telling me the truth and shining light on something I would rather pretend wasn't there.

But I too have had those other experiences. Where I feel judged, and not enough, and like the yardstick has been placed beside me to show me just how little I am and how far I fall short.

*SIGH and double sigh*

So I don't really have an answer here. I do know, as Jesus followers, we all are to "take on the mind, spirit and attitude of Christ"** and I know that old destructive patterns are not that attitude.  So how do we call each other to be all that we are created to be and leave the judgement in the trash outside?   How do we love people into kingdom life?  How do we heal old hurts and help each other move further and deeper into Christ?  How do we balance "being real" with living "transformed" lives?

K

**Philippians 2:5

Already Slacking...

Well, we have weeks to go and I am already slacking on my Lenten promise. I have often given up things for lent, sugar, chocolate, etc... The normal type stuff. One year I decided that whenever I walked into a room I would sit in the most uncomfortable chair instead of comfortable ones. That was probably the easiest year because honestly, there just aren't that many really bad chairs out there... Well, this year, instead of giving something up I decided to add something. I added 1 hour a day of prayer/devotions/bible study on top of what I already was doing. It ends up usually to be about 40 minutes in the morning and 20 at night. Yesterday I did the full hour for the first time in 3 days. Yep - I'm a slacker and I feel bad about it. Why do I act like a yo yo with God? He is consistent yet I am so inconsistent in my devotion. The thing that really confuses me is that when I spend all that extra time with God I LOVE it...so why do I have to force myself to do it? I have no idea!

Longing

Aside from giving up coffee and soda for Lent, I also gave up going to Starbucks. I love their tea, their smoothies, their lemon loaf... so I would have had many other reasons to go there aside from the "no coffee" rule.

I live in a town that has Starbucks in three different grocery stores. I was at one of those stores yesterday, and as I walked through the Bakery section, Starbucks was on the left and the smell hit me. Mmmmmmmm. I love the smell of coffee, especially the smell of Starbucks coffee. It immediately transports me back to seminary, because there was a Starbucks on every corner and it was a great place to study. You could usually find me at one of their locations on Thursday and Sunday nights, as well as Saturday mornings. (I lived in a house with 5 other girls so the house was not the best place to get some work done.)

Does anyone else feel their heart hurt when they long for something? I was exploring a Doctorate program at a seminary a few days ago and I got this ache. I feel it when I miss someone, or when I remember a tough time in my life, or I feel it when my heart breaks. It really just does feel like an ache... and painful sense of longing for something that I want to be different in my life. Sometimes it's something I can change, sometimes it's something I can't, sometimes it's something I need to work on, and when it comes to Lent, I recognizing it's something I want to WANT to change. I didn't feel that ache at Starbucks yesterday, but I didn't recognize my emotion as "longing" and it got me thinking.

How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord of hosts!
My soul longs, yes, faints
for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God. -Psalm 84:1-2

In desiring a grande soy carmel macchiato, I saw that my soul longs for the wrong things. So often, my soul longs for comfort (see my previous post). As I read through Psalm 84 today, I was struck by the last two verses:

For a day in your courts is better
than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
from those who walk uprightly.
O Lord of hosts,
blessed is the one who trusts in you! - v. 10-12

I think it's no coincidence that the last verse mentions trust in the Lord. It's given me much to pause on this day.

one month to go!

I just looked at the calender and realized it is the 24th of March. Exactly one month until Easter. In some ways that seems long - but we know it will be here before we blink. Life has a way of doing that - flying by even when we think we have all the time in the world.

Twenty four is a nice number - it is even and two also divides nicely into four. I like nice even numbers. I don't know why - something within me feels peaceful when I see a nice number divisible by 2. Maybe because math was hard for me and 24 seems like a good number to work with. Much better than say 13 or something.

My life is like that - I like things to feel good and right. I like it when things are smooth and easy. But let's face it - that is seldom the case. If I have learned anything in my over 42 years on this planet it is that if things are great - just wait a minute. There WILL be a crisis. It is inevitable. I would like to think I am getting better at handling those... but sometimes I still find myself flat on my butt with the rug pulled out from under me.

So, one more month of Lent. Wonder where we will be? Wonder if we will have allowed God to do what He wants to in us by April 24th? I pray I listen and don't waste this month. I DO want to be more of who He wants me to be - but am I willing to let go of the easy and comfortable to get there? I pray for bravery to do so.